Earth shattering celebrity gossip in The Daily Mail

I have just seen the UK's Daily Mail website for the first time. I knew it had a reputation for being trashy and gossipy, and boy did it live up to that reputation. Here is one of their stories, featured in the side bar...

Her husband Wayne Rooney may earn £250,000 a week, but even millionaire Coleen can't afford to lose a £50 note.
The mother-of-two strolled out of a Cheshire petrol station on Tuesday holding a wad of £50 notes -  which she accidentally dropped on the ground.

The 27-year-old Liverpudlian quickly bent down to pick up the notes before hurrying off to her car and headed home.  

Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! That blows my mind! I can't believe she picked her own money up off the ground, just like a normal, everyday person! I would have expected her to say 'I dropped 50 pounds on the ground. Never mind. It's too much effort to bend over and pick it up. I'll just find another 50 pounds somewhere else because I'm SO rich!' Don't rich people sit around all day burning their own money? Isn't that how a normally functioning human being acts? I can see why they think this is news at the Daily Mail.

The WAG (wives and girlfriends), who looked to have only popped out for a magazine, was dressed in a £210 Givenchy Postcard Print vest, but teamed it with a dressed-down pair of black leggings and a pair of black converse trainers, embellished with silver spikes on the toe.
Coleen, who was clearly only making a quick stop-off, scraped her honey brown hair back into a high ponytail and wore little make-up, just a touch of bronzer and nude lipstick.

No way! I didn't know that she was wearing a ponytail and lipstick with black leggings, trainers and a vest! That is even more newsworthy than the start of the article.

The wife of Manchester United player, Wayne Rooney, looked to be in a hurry as she scooped up the cash from the floor of the petrol station and power-walked over to her car.

Putting the sarcasm away, is it possible she was in a hurry because she was trying to get away from you!? Is anybody else really creeped out by this? If I went around with a camera, photographing someone at every opportunity, obsessively writing about every inconsequential action they took, and every last aspect of their physical appearance, then distributing my material to the public, they'd put me away!

Coleen has only just given birth to her son Klay in May this year, but looks to have already immersed herself back into the world of work, having taken part in her first photoshoot for her latest Littlewoods.com collection.
In the modelling shots Coleen flaunts her post-baby figure as she proves she is the perfect ambassador for her own designs.

Okay. Got it. She picked up some money that she dropped, she was wearing lipstick, ponytail, leggings, trainers and vest as she did it, and she's getting back to work because she's lost a lot of baby weight. Jesus Christ. What kind of creepy, pathetic person cares about this?

The story kept going but I think I've made my point.